Day 19 of Blogtober 2020 and today the theme is Don’t Look Back In Anger.
My younger days
When I was younger, I used to get angry and then bottle it up. There was one time I got angry with my ex brother in law. I had reached out to him to help his brother. He took it that I was having a go at him, which I was not. Anyway it spiralled. It got to the stage everything was his fault, my tv started playing up it was his fault, I forgot to order something in my shopping, it was his fault. The anger and then hatred built up so much it made me ill.
I ended up going to the Dr as I was not sleeping and it was controlling my life. I broke my silence and told him everything. He wanted to put me on anti-depressants, me I did not need them, I was not going to go on them. I was not depressed, I was angry, very angry. Also, I had heard anti-depressants were addictive, I am not a huge medication taker anyway, but no way did I want to get addicted to anything.
I eventually gave in and they came in three stages and then you decreased in three stages. I took them and also warned work, as I was still nervous about what would happen. Once they started working, I became more chilled and started sleeping again. I went for check ups and finally came off them
My older years
I am now in my 50’s, and I just can not be bothered anymore with getting angry. I am not saying I do not get angry, as I would be lying. My family often have that look about them of here she goes again. I fight for my family, there is nothing worse than a Mum fighting for her kids. Over the past 5 years with C’s illness it is one battle after another. As every parent in my position knows it is a battle, after a battle. So yes I do get angry and I do stand firm. But no longer let it get totally under my skin.
Do you get angry or just do the Mum thing of shouting and huffing and puffing to let off steam?