Today is day 6 of the Blogtober challenge, and today’s prompt is Mental Health. This is the perfect time for me to talk about mental health.
Mental health is something we all live with every single day. Whether it is ourselves, a family member or a friend it is around us. I have struggled with my mental health in the past, more so during my struggle to become a Mum. You will see me talking more about that next week for Babyloss Awareness Week.
I have been thinking about this post, and yesterday, changed what I was going to write completely, after a text from C came through as I was writing it.
Table of Contents
When Your Child Is Suffering
You will have seen me talk about C’s chronic illness and mental health previously. One area that children are being let down is the lack of support for them apart from CAHMS who are not that good.
C has been doing amazingly, with starting college and making a group of new friends. Even arranging to go to concerts etc. Yesterday early afternoon, I get a text can I pick her up, I just answered ok and leaving now. I thought maybe her class was cancelled, but had a niggle that it was something more.
She was waiting outside for me, and as she got in I asked if she was ok and she said not really. As we were driving out of the car park, she broke down. I found somewhere quiet to pull over and we had a chat and she admitted she had a panic attack and her anxiety was through the roof. We spoke about what we could do
- Contact our GP
- Speak to college
So, while we were sitting there I went online and filled in an appointment request form with our GP. I also emailed college asking about welfare support and also when she will be getting her PPE items we purchased, as her feet are hurting from the borrowed boots. We then stopped at Tesco, to buy some chocolate, as that always helps makes things better.
GP Appointment
Later in the afternoon, our GP surgery rang and booked a telephone appointment for later. The appointment time came and went and we got a call saying there had been an emergency, and as they did not want to rush her, they made a face to face for today. This is a huge relief, as it means, especially as she is now 18 she may be able to get the support she needs.
She has been through so much in the past few years with her illness, it is no surprise she is feeling like this.
College
This morning C, wanted me to go into college with her and discuss her problems. So we went in and someone from her course team came down to speak to us. She has just text me to say she now has her PPE items, and bringing her boots home so we can add insoles etc.
With regards to her mental health, she has spoken to someone and will chat to me later.
Living With Mental Health
Living with mental health, is nothing to be ashamed of. I have talked to C about how bad things got for me, which has helped her understand.
It is funny when she was younger and being bullied, her world was ending as it was her best friend. In reality it was not really bullying but it was upsetting her, and a Barry Manilow song came on Can’t smile without you. I told her that this is how I feel about her. How she came into my life, how I feel sad when she is sad.
A few weeks ago the song came on the radio, while we were out. She smiled and said I remember this song. I turned the radio up and told her to listen to the words and if she ever feels sad, alone or anything think of the words and you will know I am right there with her.
You know I can’t smile without you
I can’t smile without you
I can’t laugh and I can’t sing
I’m finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you’re sad
I feel glad when you’re glad
If you only knew what I’m going through
I just can’t smile without you
You came along just like a song
And brighten my day
Who would have believed that you were part of a dream
Now it all seems light years away
And now you know I can’t smile without you
I can’t smile without you
I can’t laugh and I can’t sing
I’m finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you’re sad
I feel glad when you’re glad
If you only knew what I’m going through
I just can’t smile
Now some people say
Happiness takes so very long to find
Well, I’m finding it hard
Leaving your love behind me
And you see I can’t smile without you
I can’t smile without you
I can’t laugh and I can’t sing
I’m finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel glad when you’re glad
I feel sad when you’re sad
If you only knew what I’m going through
I just can’t smile without you
Do you suffer with mental health, or have tips on what helps you?
Really helpful post!
I’m glad people are talking about it more now
I am as well, the more it is talked about the less stigma there is around it
Yes I suffer with PMDD which does have an impact on my mental health. I find talking about it and exercise really does help.
Exercise is the key really
anxiety is frightening I try to help my daughter by talking through it with her, and be there for her after her panic attacks that can take a form of physically shaking.
It is hard isn’t it, luckily she now has an appointment for councelling and wellfare at college which hopefully will help her
My 29 year old beautiful daughter took her own life 18 months ago. Her mental health took over her life and finally ended it. We new nothing of how she was feeling which is often the case. It needs to be talked about a lot more and resources scaled up to accommodate the vast amount of people dealing with this especially the young
I am so sorry to read this, it does show that mental health is being neglected and that this side needs to be looked at. There is not a lot of support out there
For me, focusing on my breathing whilst closing my eyes helps. Sometimes running my hands in cold water also helps because all the attention is focused on my hand rather than what is making me anxious. I also sometimes run through some happy homemade videos on my phone or make a quick call to my husband. I’m sure C will find comfort in you like she has always done
We are trying different things so hopefully she will find what works for her
I definitely struggle, it sounds like she has a really supportive and understanding mother in you, and you are doing all the right things for her.
Thank you, I have never really struggled, and have talked to her and tried some suggestions. I think it is getting the steps in motion for getting herr the help, she went through so much so young and I think she just needs to talk to someone to get her head around it
I can totally relate how you feel with a daughter with a chronic illness, but she’s so lucky she has you looking out for her and it’s great that she can talk to you. I also have a poorly daughter but she’s good at talking to me about her problems and I hope that continues because it would be such a worry if I ever felt she couldn’t talk to me. Sending you and C big hugs x
I am sorry you have a poorly daughter, C does talk to me about most things, but I think this is something she can’t open up to me about. And she knows I would be supportive as she has spoken about all sorts of things to me.
talk talk and more talk – really is the way to champion mental health
I agree, which is what C wants as well
My husband had serious mental health issues some years ago and he did a get a lot of support particularly from his GP. I understand from friends and roger family members that getting help is not so easy these days
For children there is nothing out there apart from CAHMS, she had a horrible experience and refused to go back. Now she is an adult help is easier to get. Although she was told it could take a while
It seems to be the same struggle with CAMHS everywhere. 🙁 We had a situation a few years ago where we’d fought and fought for help. Eventually, it came- from a number of sources. We were shocked and relieved. Then, we had letters saying as you’re having this support, we will stop this one etc and you’ve guessed it, cancelled every single one! I’m sure you are helping her a lot by talking to her and being there to support her. I always love that song and the words are so true and so apt for you and your daughter.
It does seem that a lot more people have bad experiences with CAHMS to those who have good experiences. I am talking to her and checking in, told her she can talk to me about anything nothing will shock me, but I do also understand I am Mum and it is easier to talk to a strange sometimes. I have ordered her some stress balls, as I did get her a fidget ring but she can not wear jewellery on her course as is dealing with animals. We are also starting swimming which should help a bit
We have had dealings with CAHMS before and they are not that great.
Sending love and hugs to C. College is a big thing for any teenager to deal with but C has so much more going on in her life, especially with her health. No wonder her anxiety was through the roof. I am glad she is getting lots of support from you, her GP and the college. x
They are awful aren’t they, hopefully now she is can move forward. She knows she can talk to me and her dad but also knows we understand why she doesnt want to. Will see what college can help her with today
So important to talk about mental health and normalize asking for help! Thank for sharing, and I hope that C feels better soon.
It is important and something we need to talk about, I told C yesterday it is never anything to be ashamed at and talking about it is good
There are not enough resources or support for people who are suffering with their mental health, kids or adults. And it’s so sad that people are suffering and feeling like they’re alone. It’s good that C wants to talk to people x
There isn’t and I have been trying for years for her to see someone. She feels happier now the ball is rolling but you can see it in her eyes.
by talking and saying it’s OK to not feel OK we can get the message out
We can and it is important