I posted the other week my story about the battle I had to become a Mum during Babyloss Awareness Week, you can read it here if you missed it. Today is My story part 2 when I finally became a Mum.
This is my story of those early days.
At 3.45am on 7th November 2003 my wish came true I was a Mummy. It really does only seem like yesterday I remember holding my newborn baby daughter in my arms for the first time. the bulldozer of emotions that hit you, as to how much you love this tiny little person. It is a love you will never have felt before. you can not describe how it feels, as it just hits you.
My husband went home at some stage after she was born. To make the phone calls and have a rest and shower. Before coming back up with a huge list of things from me. I was left alone in a room and it was just me and my baby girl, I couldn’t sleep. And I just laid there starting at her. Like all new Mums I wanted to feed her myself. She was really good and latched on. Unfortunately, my milk supply didn’t want to come through. She had to be fed and we had no alternative than to use formula. I did not get too upset it was one of those things.
I had the pleasure of that first nappy, as I stood there chatting away to her. With her just lying there looking at me. I made a right mess of things and had to totally change her.
The following day we were discharged and finally allowed to go home. It was here the day I never thought would happen. Going home with my newborn baby excited and scared at the same time. As this was the day I never thought would happen. My husband (remember he had 2 boy already), suggested bathing her. He got the bath ready and I got all the little bits and pieces. So I stripped her off and went to pass her over to my husband. (She was tiny). I would hurt her, she would slip, I would get her bellybutton wet). He said no you have to do it I can bath a baby. It went well and we settled into a routine.
Those first few days/weeks I spent most of my time staring at her even now with her approaching 12 I sit and stare at her sometimes, thinking she is just perfect. Not believing I was finally a mum.
I never got the baby blues, I never felt deprived of sleep, everything was perfect, she was such a happy and contented baby.
I do tell her how precious she is, and one day I will tell her my story, for now she does not need to know. Everyday I thank my lucky stars for giving me the most precious gift in the world.
So there it is My story part 2 when I finally became a Mum