Being a Stepmum

Being a Stepmum

I saw this the other day and thought it quite apt, as I am a Stepmum.

First Time Meeting The Boys

When I met my now husband, I did not have children. We had both been in long term relationships, and he had two boys.  One of the first things he said to me not long after we had got together was. I have two kids, they come first and if you don’t like it, then we can’t be together.  That just made me love him even more.  It showed that he was an amazing Dad who loved his kids and put them first no matter what. It also meant I could be starting a new role of becomming a Stepmum.

I remember the first day I met my eldest stepson, he decided to let them meet me separately.  I was petrified, I have no idea why. The day went really well, he even preferred to come to me and ask for a drink or something. Rather than his Dad, that night I was relieved. Then I met the youngest one,  he was only little and so cheeky I felt at ease straight away.

Becomming A Stepmum`

After a while, we decided to take the next step and move in together. This meant that I had to become a proper stepmum.  It was tough at times, I was not their mum but had to act like a parent figure. I never wanted to replace their mum, but I fell in love with them and treated them as my own.  As time went on, we fell into a routine, I would look after the boys, while my husband was at work. I would tell them off if naughty, we would have fun, play games do everything parents did. It always seemed quiet when they went home.

The boys always knew I was there for them, knew I loved them, knew I was firm but fair in telling them off, and that they could talk to me about anything. Sometimes, they would say please don’t tell Dad, obviously I would without them knowing. I loved the boys as my own and loved my role of being a Stepmum.

Becomming A Mum

After a few years, I finally fell pregnant with our Daughter, then I worried, would they hate her thinking they wouldn’t be wanted anymore, would they think she had replaced them, of course, this was not the case and they loved her and she loved her big brothers.

Being a step-parent is harder at times than being a full parent, but I feel so lucky to be the ‘wicked’ stepmum to my boys, they are now 20 and 17 and we couldn’t be any prouder of them if we tried.

So, to all you step-parents out there, whether you are a Stepmum or Stepdad. I hope you feel the same about your stepchildren as I do about mine. I went in at the deep end but it was worth it.


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  1. Being a step mum can sound scary based on societal expectations. However, the experience can still be a blessing if all the players choose to live in harmony. It really takes so much patience but with proper communication, all turns out well eventually. I also have a step mum that I love so much..she’s super!

    1. I a so glad you have a great stepmum. Being a step parent is hard as there is always the other mum/dad. The hard part is getting the respect of the children where they know you will do your best for them even if that means being mean at times

  2. It’s such a big step becoming a step mum or dad. I know my husband had an adjustment process when he became a stepdad. You have to tread a fine line sometimes!

  3. Being a stepmom can really be challenging at first and not everyone is able to cope with the situation. It’s great to read this and know that it can also have a happy ending.

    1. It can be hard and I agree not everyone can do it, but there are so many stepparents that do have a great relationship with their stepchildren

  4. I’m sure being a stepmum can be hard at times. These relationships like any other come with their good days and their bad days.

  5. My son has a step mum and I have a huge amount if admiration for her taking on my son. I often wonder if I could have done the same in her shoes!

  6. You have an amazing story, it takes courage to date someone with kids let alone marry them. Congratulation for having your baby.

    1. Thank you some say courage some say stupidity haha, but the key thing to remember is the kid never asked for this and they are the ones who are important and come first in my opinion

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