My Baby Diary part 1

During Babyloss Awareness Week I wrote about my struggle to become a Mum, the heartache I felt and the struggle I had.

I recently had an email regarding my diaries that I wrote whilst I was pregnant with my Daughter.  They were going to be gone soon, so I have saved them and thought I would share on here in a few posts month by month how I felt during my pregnancy.

This is more for my memories, but I hope you enjoy them

28th March 2003

Hello

My name is Sam and I am currently 7 weeks and 6 days pregnant. It was a huge shock to discover I was pregnant as I have in the past suffered 7 miscarriages, the last one in January this year, so we were not trying for a baby had one ‘accident’ and three weeks ago (thursday) I did a pregnancy test and have never seen such a vivid blue line, because of my previous problems I managed to get an appointment to see my doctor that afternoon, who in turn arranged for me to see a consultant, an appointment was made for the following Monday, since then I have had a scan last Tuesday when I was 6 weeks 3 days pregnant, and we saw the heartbeat, and the baby was 6mm. I had a further scan this Tuesday 25th March and the baby had grown to 11.9mm, it is so reassuring to see.

Even though we had wanted this pregnancy for so long I did not think morning sickness would be 24 hour sickness. I have gone off and can not even think about tea or coffee (which is not a bad thing I know), I have never felt so sick or tired in my life. But am so glad I am feeling so sick, as I have been told that this is a good sign. I am taking each day as it comes and my next milestone is 9 weeks and then 12 weeks and then 15 weeks, after which time I hope I will be able to settle happily into pregnancy. And what about the boobs, they are painful as well. My parents and husbands family are all over the moon, but don’t sympathise with me over the sickness as they all say it is a very good sign, oh how nice it is to have such a supporting family.

I am seeing my consultant next Friday so will update you again then

5th April 2003

9 weeks

I had another hospital appointment yesterday and saw my consultant, all the hospital staff are lovely and make you feel so at ease, especially with my past problems. I had another scan and saw my baby’s heartbeat so know that everything is going ok, and I don’t need to go back until 25th April to see my consultant again, but if I want reassurance or have any problems I can phone and they will see me.

I have been signed off work this week due to sickness, I really expected just to feel a bit sicky in the mornings and not 24 hours a day but at least it is a good strong sign, as everyone keeps telling me. I feel no different to last week, but hope the sickness will pass soon so I that I can then enjoy my pregnancy.

Well that is it from me this week, will update again when I have anymore news or changes.

20th April 2003

Haven’t updated for a while. Well nothing much to add. I am still very sick and still signed off work. It was my birthday on Wednesday, but felt so awful we didn’t celebrate. My parents came over to see me and Mum brought over a blanket she has knitted together with knitting pattens, they are both so excited.

I have noticed a change in my body though, I can’t get some of my clothes on, what a nightmare, as I don’t look pregnant and not ready for maternity clothes but my own clothes are getting to small.

I am seeing my consultant next Friday and have my 12 week scan on 28th, it will be so exciting as I havent had a scan for a few weeks so am hoping there is a change.

Will update again on Friday once I have seen my consultant.

26th April 2003

Well I am 12 weeks today, I can’t believe it after losing so many babies I can’t begin to explain how I am feeling.

I saw my consultant yesterday and he gave me a scan as I haven’t seen him for 3 weeks, and so much had changed I saw the baby’s head, body and legs and it was moving around, I was in awe of it and just wanted to cry. Mind you I can’t stop crying these days anything sets me off, my husband is used to it now. I phoned my mum when we got home and she is just as excited as we are and has been itching to go and buy something (obviously her knitting is not enough), so I said she could now.

I have my official 12 week scan on Monday, I am just so excited.

I am still feeling very sick though and just hope that it will pass at some stage soon.

I will write again on Monday to let you know how it all went

29th April 2003

I had my 12 weeks scan yesterday, and everything went well, all seems to be ok and low risk result to the tests done.

One thing that I have decided though, is that I am not suffering morning sickness at all it is sea sickness, as the baby didn’t stay still for a second, and when they were trying to check the skull and brain it kept spinning about, just hope it settles down a bit when there isn’t so much room to move about in.

I keep getting my scan pictures out and looking at them.

Just thought I would update and let you know how I got on. I will update with any new developments.

This is my first part of the diary, although 12 years ago, I can remember every second.

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  1. 10th December 2015 / 9:01 pm

    Isn’t it amazing the memories we accumulate during our lifetime. Like you I can still remember things from 12 years ago but can never remember anything that happened yesterday lol. What a lovely sweet post.

    • admin
      10th December 2015 / 9:32 pm

      I had totally forgotten about these, I still keep in contact with some of the others who were pregnant at the same time. Only remembered these when I got an email recently saying they would be deleted soon. I downloaded them today and thought I would do a series of my pregnancy which has lots of ups and downs. I have loved reading them again. I am terrible for what remembering things as well x

  2. 11th December 2015 / 10:22 am

    I think it is great that you have documented that. I will be definitely doing that when I am pregnant, as I think it will be nice to read back on them.

    • admin
      11th December 2015 / 10:53 pm

      I would recommend you to do it, I found a great forum met some lovely ladies who I am still in contact with, and so many memories came flooding back x

  3. 11th December 2015 / 11:04 am

    I know quite a few women that have struggled to become pregnant and some have managed and others haven’t unfortunately. Great post. I hated pregnancy but I and severe sickness so felt awful daily.

    • admin
      11th December 2015 / 10:49 pm

      The sickness is awful, I hated it and loved it at the same time, as it meant my baby was staying. It gave me the strength to get through feeling awful x

  4. 11th December 2015 / 12:48 pm

    I sympathise with how ill you were feeling but at the same time the joy that feeling so crappy must have brought. Great diary entries to remember that time x

    • admin
      11th December 2015 / 10:46 pm

      I was honestly dying during those weeks, but I would happily have been like that the whole 9 months I really would, it meant my baby was staying put x

  5. 11th December 2015 / 1:56 pm

    Ah I wish I had kept a diary with I was pregnant with my children – lovely to read back x

    • admin
      11th December 2015 / 10:45 pm

      I had forgotten about them, so glad I have them and they are not lost forever, has brought back so many memories, part 2 will be coming soon x

  6. Catstello
    11th December 2015 / 3:20 pm

    Interesting diary series! Nice way to document your pregnancy 🙂

    • admin
      11th December 2015 / 10:44 pm

      Thank you, I am so glad I found these and managed to save them x

  7. 11th December 2015 / 3:55 pm

    Good you documented all these. Enjoyed reading this post.

    • admin
      11th December 2015 / 10:44 pm

      Am so glad I did, glad you enjoyed reading these, part 2 will be coming soon x

  8. 11th December 2015 / 7:06 pm

    How amazing it must be for you to be able to read back and relive some of these feelings x

    • admin
      11th December 2015 / 10:43 pm

      I know I had forgot all about them until I got an email regarding them, reading them has brought back so many memories x

  9. 11th December 2015 / 9:45 pm

    How wonderful that you kept these diaries and it must be lovely to look back on them now, they were a very enjoyable read – thank you for posting them. x

    • admin
      11th December 2015 / 10:42 pm

      Thank you, it was lovely to look back so many memories, I did show this post to my Daughter as well.. Glad you enjoyed reading this,part 2 will be coming soonx

  10. 11th December 2015 / 10:36 pm

    Oh what lovely memories to save and share. I wish I had written about my own pregnancy but I was too sick to think about anything like. Truly magical thank you for sharing them

  11. Daniella
    12th December 2015 / 7:37 am

    I wish I’d kept a diary with my last pregnancy, it’s a lovely way to document it so you can read back once the baby is born.

    • admin
      12th December 2015 / 10:00 am

      I am so glad I did, and when I was reading and saving them the other night the memories flooded back like it was only yesterday x

  12. 12th December 2015 / 8:05 am

    I am so sorry that you have suffered. I have had 2 losses which were awful. 7 must have been unbearable. x

    • admin
      12th December 2015 / 10:00 am

      They were it was actually 8 because 1 of them I lost twins but was losing the whole time so 7 weeks from 1st to the 2nd and I put that into 1 as to me I lost them both at the same time :(. It was hard, which is why I was scared the whole 9 months of my pregnancy, but my consultant was lovely and got me through every milestone x

  13. Natasha Mairs
    12th December 2015 / 11:21 am

    Lovely memories. My sister has had 2 miscariges and now has 4 children!

    • admin
      12th December 2015 / 7:53 pm

      Thank you, it is heartbreaking to go through, but lovely to hear happy endings x

  14. 12th December 2015 / 9:33 pm

    I wish I had kept a diary. So sorry for what you have been through but it must bring back many memories, both good and bad xx

    • admin
      13th December 2015 / 10:07 am

      I am so glad I did, and so glad I now have them and remember them. It does bring back loads of memories, I showed this post to my Daughter she thinks it is brilliant as it is all about her x

  15. 12th December 2015 / 10:01 pm

    What lovely memories to keep, especially after the struggle you had getting pregnant. You sound like you were very relaxed, my pregnancy following my miscarriage was so stressful.

    • admin
      13th December 2015 / 10:05 am

      Thank you, I was far from relaxed, but my consultant was amazing he really put me at ease, there were a few hairy moments though, which will come out in the next few lots. I have done nothing with these diaries I am just posting them as they were written as want to keep them true to the time, and not change them in anyway x

  16. 13th December 2015 / 12:44 pm

    that is heart rending and very brave to share too. I am so pleased that it all worked out for you in the end after all the heartbreak. xx

    • admin
      13th December 2015 / 6:12 pm

      Thank you, my pregnancy wasn’t easy either but it also meant that my daughter was growing and staying put so worth every second x

  17. Rachael
    13th December 2015 / 4:01 pm

    great idea to document your experience, it’s something youd kids will love when they have their own children!

    • admin
      13th December 2015 / 6:12 pm

      I am so glad I did write this, and so glad that they never got lost forever x

  18. Charlotte Braithwaite
    13th December 2015 / 8:39 pm

    I loved documenting my pregnancy with Hayden. I haven’t actually rewatched the videos though LOL I hate the sound of my voice (editing was a nightmare)
    I love how you’ve documented yours <3
    Thanks for sharing hun
    Charlotte x

    • admin
      13th December 2015 / 8:44 pm

      Thank you, I hate the sound of my voice as well mine is just horrible x

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